Hello Reader!

If you came to this newsletter from a social media post about my sabbatical from said social media, welcome!

If you've been on my email list for a while now and you have no idea what I'm talking about, I'm taking a 30 day break from social media.

Here's why.

Myspace came into my life at age 14 and I've been on some medium of social media ever since. That's over 12 years of my life I've spent posting, liking, scrolling on social media. And I've never gone longer than a few days without it.

We can all agree 2020 has been a YEAR. We will all collectively be able to mention the year 2020 in the future and feel the weight this year has held for our world.

During peak quaratine in March, April and May, I would spend at least 5 hours a day on TikTok or Instagram. That's 35 hours a week on my phone, basicallly a full time job. Wish I got paid for it.

I'm not judging or shaming myself for how I coped during quaratine. I did puzzles, made candles, went on countless walks with my husband and dog, but most of my time was spent on social media. We all did things during quaratine to cope with our circumstances.

For me - my scrolling habit was already formed, but quarantine amplified it.

This year in particular, I felt the gap between who I was and who I wanted to be, widen.

I was focused on what other people were doing, how other people were feeling, and what other people thought, that it became hard for me to discern what I wanted, what I felt, and what I believed.

To be completely honest, I've used social media as a tool to emotionally survive. When I was stressed, scared, angry, bored, or indifferent, I turned to scrolling. It was easier to numb out than to tap into my emotions and listen to my intuition.

It was easier to mentally check out on social media than to emotionally check in, asking questinos like, "Why am I stressed? What is the root of my fear? My anger? How am I really feeling? Could reading or taking a walk be better for me than mindlessly scrolling on social media?"

All of my intentionality went out the window.

I've spent much of this year filling gaps of time with scrolling. So much so that I wanted to take the last month of 2020 to myself. I wanted to sit with myself, work on my goals, and get clear about what I wanted to accomplish in 2021.

We can watch documentaries about social media being bad for our psyche, we can read stats on how it effects our mental health, we can peel back the layers of the billon dollar industry that is social media advertising.

But until we decide to truly act upon the information, it's just information.

It's day 2 without social media.

I deleted every single social app from my phone besides pinterest because... we are decorating our home and I need the inspiration.

Yesterday, I found myself picking up my phone and just staring at my home screen, trying to figure out what to do with this thing since I couldn't access my vices.

So instead, I've turned to two things: texting friends and family and taking these psychology quizzes on a Intro to Psychology app. It's not near as enticing as Tiktok food recipes or lifestyle photos on Instagram, but I'm expanding my brain here people!

Maybe this won't be as hard as I thought it would be. Maybe it will be one of the hardest things I've challenged myself to do in a long time.

Only time with tell, my friend.

Thanks for coming on this journey with me.

A few questions to reflect on or journal through:

• How many hours a day and week do you spend on social media?
• Can you connect how you feel about yourself and your life to how much time you spend online? What does that connection tell you?
• What is your core motivation for being on social media?
• Are you happy with yourself and the life you're living right now?

I'll be back in your inbox in a few days with more ramblings :)

Shine on,

Alexis